i jus read a blog which is full of love. its the missing that build the love. its the love that build the "want" to love. how amazing.

i can never be loving when i miss someone badly. i start to get nasty. i will say lots of nasty words and said like, "nvm, dun meet den dun meet lo", u know, tat kind of attitude. i bloody hate this feeling but i jus cant help it to react this way. the missing of someone jus made me do my unusual way to handling a relationship. i simply wont hug the person if i saw him after a long separation. i will think, "bloody hell, u simply don care and don miss me at all" ...argh, i must be mad.

i'm a lousy lover, perfect housewife. i think la. haha. i dun convert missing to love, i only convert everyday accompany to love. something different.

its been a long time someone can give me a hug "Hey gal, no worries, u will do well", nope, not at all. not even him. not even frens. very upset. all i need is a hug, am i asking too much? ah koh said, i'm too pampered, hug also cannot. he said i cant always rely on people. i jus feel fed up abt it. wats wrong. wats wrong asking for a hug AND i'm NOT asking him to hug of cox. i jus shared wat i feel. over this matter, i still cannot get over it.

i went to Hillview ytd to overnight, Daddy2 prepared Gin tonic and a spread of smoke salmon to along, how sweet, he still knows me the best. finally had a long chat with mummy2 and had a good night sleep. away from msn, away from reality, away from mobile phone. i din tell her abt me and the happenings abt me but some of the thots i'm having now and also talked abt frens ard me. she said i'm easily being cheated and i totally agreed. especially when it comes to frens, i believe watever my frens told me. i'm silly. i'm idiot.

i prayed hard jus now. i hope everything gets on track and sail on well.

Labels: life, Me