Is it fair to me?

How many times you have asked this question to yourself or him? What's the meaning of being fair? Are you arguing for the treatment has been given in previous relationship? Or are you only asking for the good not the bad?

There's no solutions to the above statement, the only thing you can do is escape by not giving a chance to think about it. The more you think, the more you sadden. It's not going to end. Apparantly, this will be girls' biggest challenge.

I can't elaborate more but only to talk within me & myself. What a crowd...

With this peace but troubled mood, I came by this blog. Not much of smiles but so much of saddness further.

I wonder.

I wonder what it’s like for you when I’m not around.

I wonder if you miss having me in your passenger seat and holding your hand. Singing along to the song playing and us yelling in the car, just for the fun of it. Making weird noises, talking, laughing, eating, sleeping, or being comfortably silent with each other. Swinging our arms back and forth while our fingers are intertwined. Having your arm held onto for warmth and randomly stopping to hug you in amidst of walking to a destination. Watching you intently with your hands on the wheel, you side-glancing at me every now and then, and kissing you at stoplights. Demanding you to focus on driving and suddenly realizing we like a lot of the same songs. Laughing at jokes and about the most ridiculous remarks. Having pillow fights, tickling each other, and cuddling on your bed. Having me to lay with and messing up your room some more. Occupying all the places that felt empty to you. Story-telling, sharing experiences, talking about nonsense, and saying little sentiments in our own way, mentioning things around others that only we could understand. Just smiling, happy, the entire time we’re together.

Do you ever notice my absence like I notice yours? Does it hit you hard or just as much as it bothers me? Does your hand feel lonely without mine the way I feel it without you here? Does seeing couples in public remind you of me the way it reminds me of you? Does it make you miss me the way it makes me miss you? Do you sing quietly to yourself and actually pay more attention to the road? Does your mind wander and make its way back to me when you’re alone the way you float around in my thoughts more often than not? Is it colder without me—are you smiling as much as when I’d be with you?

Labels: life, Me