I've been very very extremely busy recently that leads to neglect my blog. Through alot of things which made me stronger emotionally and more independently. Though today is the eve of V.day but i don't see that makes me happier or more excited about tmr, bcox, i knew V.day is just another day to nua at home, envy about ppl getting gifts and be lemon. But anyway.. this is what i got and i'm being "forced" to post here.
ya. Thats all~
Labels: raymond
last shot. last run. i'm happy with myself now.
- degree course ending soon
- helipad this friday
- applying for driving next month
- hitting sales next month
- straighteing my hair next month
recently i got 2 ex-bfs who are able to contact me thru frens, quite surprise. "tao hua" or Bad omen?
Upgrading of myself shd all end at this year. Next year shall be something big.
Anyway, just a small note : Pinky Princess is going to be off the shelve. Finally.
Labels: eve, raymond, wedding
i've attended a wedding without love, this year, 2nd time. i kept thinking that adult world is really too cruel, too messed up.
today i attended one, at Conrad. not bad hotel but poor banquet. it was hubby's best buddy, he dint seem to look happy as a groom. his wife a thai. he broke up with a galfren lasted 7years and supposed to wed this april. broke up early jan this year. suddenly he announced to wed this thai gal. omg.
i think i cant go to this kind of wedding anymore. it's a pain. it's a torture. it's saddening.
Labels: emo, Me, raymond
it's been long since i last cried on a relationship. i think i got pms. i think i must be mad. but definitely i am angry with raymond about the words he said and actions done. i didn't get to enjoy the complimentary of FIR concert, neither i had my dinner last night. it was totally disaster and horrible.
i was still talking on the phone with him after he sent me home and i still wanna sort things out. i was harsh, i did say, "we are thru". but somehow or rather, this sentense is transparent to us, we as if didnt take this sentence to heart and continue our debation watsoever. it made us a sleepless yesterday. i wonder if he slept but i know, i didnt. i stayed up till 5.30am, watching tv and rushing my assignment till my eyes couldn't take it anymore. at first i thought, i might not sleep that fast, i held my Apple mp3 on hand, just in case i didnt sleep, i still can depend on it for awhile. i decided to sms him before i sleep, i said i feel bad and never was i before being this way. surprised! he called back and offered to meet me up. i was happy. i'm really am touched. wat time was it... he picked me up @ 6.15am. how early. den back to his place and with his bear hug, i was fast asleep and seems like nothing had happened before.
Everything seems like a nightmare, i know i must be crazy to shout at him and vent my anger on him. how bad i am as a galfren. i'm really touched that he still said..will marry me. ha! love u deep deep.
End this post with love & laughter,
Drama Queen - Eve Yang
Labels: Me, raymond
now then i know..
without raymond...
i wan to go nowhere....
i wanna stay at home and wait for him...
that's all i wanna do...
how weak i am..
it's all controlled by him...
Labels: Me, raymond
i haven't been really seriously blogging recently due to the cranky mood i'm having. i feel so bad after i "te-kan" raymond while on the other side, he's facing a bad situation. i cant deny how worried i am for him and all this worries that i had, he didnt seem to see and put me in last of his mind. i admit i shouldnt flare but here i go "If i'm only a choice in your life, then why should i put in priority?" I know i must be mad, and his reply, he was sad too. i'm sorry i hurt you, hubby.
i read someone's blog (whom i don't know) and it's about the NS guy who died in Brunei weeks ago becox of heatstroke and this blog belongs to his gf. I cant describe my feelings which really hurt lots and reading the entry which the gf waiting for his return and it was 4days before his actual return date. The gf patiently waited and missing him so much. Here he's gone. I cant say how much hurt i felt after reading this entry but anger filled me more. I hate reading this kind of articles, not becox it's abt sadness. I agreed that every guys should attend the military training but yes, they are there for training, not for death. Have been reading quite alot of this cases and i feel sad for their parents and loved ones. This is not the way. And if it is, then, do not grumble about our population is not there and got the least give birth rates in the whole world. You had kill your own people. Whats more to say. I shdn't penalised the government but i think its all the officers who are involved in this kind of trainings and they always find ways to "te-kan" the guys, i agreed u can do a lil' but by doing this far and cause death is so unfair, wat are they? They are not criminals nor your slaves. They don't have to answer to death. Why so? You guys got to rmb, every human here has family and their parents, everyone here is made of blood, so u think if u are some officer big shot, big deal. I hate signed on sometimes, narrow minded. straight like log. self-centred. I'm sorry if u were one of them, but if u think are not this kind of signed on ppl, den i'm not talking abt you.
I got so much of heart-felt words. Sorry, i'm really down.
Labels: emo, raymond
alright alright, i did mentioned about the Gucci bag but i'm not up to the
standard to buy yet. I got a bad news ytd, i got to foot half of the Goodwood Park high-tea bill this sunday (my mummy's birthday) and also her trip to Genting on October. kill me please. previously i always thought, pay day is the happiest day during the month but now, i'm so afraid, not only about all unpaid bills and also some misc. entertainment and mummy's bill. What am I? An ATM to my mum?? oh gosh.
a digi cam is only a want and not need to me, u may just complain my photos are blurred or watsoever, but thats the best i can do with my Nokia E51. ha. which means, E51 is quite bad. i'd really only got the bag to buy and i'm done with everything. Ray just reminded me that i need to save lots for the future house n car. frustrating. he did mentioned till like i have to be "stick" with bank loan till 60yrs old if i buy a house. omg, i dun wan. which means there's no way to retired before 60yrs old. so scary. and so, i got to buy a house asap and start feeding it to end the loan earlier.
i recently got nothing better to do but only got more n more nail enchantment to go. and also, i got to start revising my books now, my exam is coming end of next month, hopefully all the good luck will come to me!
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sorry that i wasnt concentrating on blogging but rather on facebook, i've looked thru albums to albums and i found, the happiness is not here.
i've flipped thru someone's album and i found that my love is not happy enough compared to the past or what he is getting, i dunno why. Pictures tell it all.
Eve, done with unhappiness, upset.
Labels: eve, raymond
Long awaiting....**Phuket pictures**Nothing much on First night coz after we arrived hotel at local hours 10pm(Phuket), we are too tired to explore but only went to the next street to have our dinner and thai massage...
2nd Day- Destination : Phi Phi IslandOur room
In the minibus. on our way to ferry terminal...
In the cruise......
When we were near....
Seeing the seawater.. it has change to crystal clear....
Here we are @ Phi Phi Island
Well.. we went for snorkelling, should have taken more pictures but due to camera is not waterproof.....hahaha.......nothing much we can do.....
Next day...... Destination : Supposed to be not fixed.....but....
Outside our room.. going out...
Here we are @ Phuket's largest temple (said to be Phuket's number 1- Wat ChaLong) 
Back from temple......... eat again......Sunset Restaurant
Then.....the beach opposite our resort...... Karon Beach..... *wink
*copycat*
*camera whoring...... Some misc pics..
3rd night at airport...flight delayed. upset. was delayed for 2hours and their airport is nothing fantastic as ours..hahaha... of cox..... and here's my expression......
End of Trip
Labels: Me, raymond
today's topic : where's my smiLe?
very nice of christine - giving me my first smiLe of the day with cheezels. *touched.
very nice of Liying - offered me pocky strawberry
am very happy that finally it's confirmed and it's a sense of relieved. really.
sadness, i have, not as much as happiness. the missing of fellow colleagues shall remain in my heart.
i'm waiting for someone special to give me the best smiLe of the day =)
am planning vacation already. anyone joining?
Labels: emo, life, Me, raymond, vacation
i'm quite amazed by this E51 mobile which allows me to blog whenever i want when there's wifi around. I'm thankful that hubby chose this model which just makes me feel more and more in love with it, just like how i feel for hubby. But i'm sad to hear that i'm going to say goodbye to this phone when Iphone launch, which is to say by few months time. Hubby determined and insisted. I had a great time just now. After the dinner, we met up with his old buddy, ah pui, who is working for skylet now. Ops. Sounds familiar. Haa. We chilled at Beavers for about 2hours and then headed to Crown Prince to take the van, just as we stepped outside the entrance as ah pui and ray were still smoking, a gal called raymond from behind, i'm suprised that i didn't care much and went starbucks to grab my cafe latte. Poor ah pui was saying that ray didn't intro the "cai" to him. Haha. We had a great time chatting during the journey home too. After alighting ah pui, emo ray was saying that he was really happy spending time with me and he's appreciating everything i've done for him. Silly. I told him that since i've chose him, i really need to be responsible for my own decision. Seldom he said this kind of words and i feel that i'm so in love and touched by his words. Izzt me or the beer that makes me feel like dripping tears now? Ha. I'm really so silly. . .
Labels: raymond
one day happy. one day sad.my ups & downs are all controlled by you.if you really didn't know,i'm telling you now.i hope you will tell me,what can i do to make you pick up my calls.i'm sick & tired.i'm exhausted.i'm deeply in l.o.v.e with you.please. please.answer my call.i pray to god who watch me from above.every drop of my tears, represent the misses i had for you.have you ever know how much i love you?and do you ever ever feel deeply in l.o.v.e with me?i doubt and i hesitatei wonder and i hopei pray so hard and think so muchi'm...s.p.e.e.c.h.l.e.s.s.Labels: emo, raymond
slowly.. time just drifting us apart which we not supposed to deserve. i took up the challenge but i slowly feel more tired, rather, afraid. i wanna surrender to the game, i wanna declare that i withdraw from it.
i will just survive alone. i know i can do. i've been up in the shelf for 2years before, loneliness is nothing to me.
i give up whatever timing given. i'm giving every little freedom which is asked for. are you satisfied with the arrangement? is this the kind of relationship u've been waiting for? Wish granted.
S.p.e.e.c.h.l.e.s.s -- is the word i wanna describe now.
maybe i'm not understanding enough. maybe i shouldn't add on to your load. that doesn't mean i should be neglected. here i am waiting for you. where you. where's love.
the word "miss" & "love" doesn't mean anything anymore.
Congrats. Princess Eve has lightened your load in life.
Heart-broken. Heart Dead. Mind blank.
the more i wanted, the more disappointment i'm getting.
Labels: raymond
i feel like painting my life with pink. the signature of love. now my life is only abt him and only him. my happiness is him. my love is him. he's the oxygen. the reason that i live on.
my mind is always filled with him. it's being quite some time since we've been together, but i'm very touched because without failed, he will give me a card monthly on that very day. how loving. think he's will be loving only on that day den.. i've got to tahan him for the rest of 29days. how sick. BUT NEVER MIND, he will pump my mind with his love on that day and i'll be very happy for the rest of the month. how amazing.
know what i'm talking about? well, it's okay. this entry is meant for him. God bless.
Labels: life, raymond
I wonder if we have too much of trust and too little time to spend in this relationship. i'm just afraid. I've just realised that being in relationship is really a waste of time and energy. and the most pathetic thing is that, u picked up a fight but your partner doesn't want to entertain you. izzt becox he doesn't care, or simply he jus ignore. actually it hurts more den u can least expect. i realised that if ur partner would want to "entertain" u and argue with you, it actually feels better. becox he cares. so do not think he doesn't like you if he quarrelled with u, its becox he cares so much and mind so much. how abt that. i tink i wont be so silly that i want to pick up a fight anymore, neither i wanna complain further. i'm jus tired in a slacking relationship that i'm having. its nv enough and am i asking for too much? i know he treats me well till now, everyone sees it and i feel it. i'm a complain queen whom only he can tahan cox simply he ignore my unreasonable reactions. i think this will be the last complain entry abt him. i cant go any further.
Labels: raymond
i'm staying up late. not juz to be happy abt the exams are finally over but to watch a drama series thru youtube. though its not easy as u haf to download it one by one, part by part, but i'm juz this stubborn. it's the little exchange "gift" for putting my hardwork for the exams. i granted myself that i can stay up late to catch the show.its really a nice comedy, romantic drama series by cyndi - soria pasta (*wei siao pasta). channel 56 is showing it every weekend but i cant wait till den. i have told myself that i wanna buy this drama series vcd so i dun haf to face my lappy and view it in small screen. its really a very touching show tat i almost cried for a few times. but somehow i feellike this show is copying the korean drama series by Rain. i cant remember the name but so far, Rain acted in only one drama series. i love this kind of drama cox it oftens let me realise some things and some people in life which/whom are very important to me. well, u will see it better when u see it as a whole rather den u view it as only at your point of view or even u are one of the actor/actress in real life. i always haf alot of imaginations which lead to lotsa dreams and goals in life, i wanna achieve all but i know, God wont be so baised towards me. i can only realize one dream but which one, i'm not sure. its all up to fate to choose. thats why, when u make wishes on ur birthday, u cant wish alot, at most, three. cox god is fair to everyone,not everybody will be granted all their wishes. only the most precious to them will be revealled. when there's gain, there's lost. no one can actually escape from it. lucky? who actually can be called lucky? Lucky is someone who actually has a wish or hope been granted which is most precious and important to him/her and the person feel contented, enough. for so much i've said, i only wanna say that though i hve a little dreamwaiting to be granted, but i'm not willing to let go anything i haf on hand now. so whats there to exchange? well, i'm contented now. i'm happy. i had a wish, i hope i will meet someone like superman whom will appear whenever i create trouble, whenever i'm down, someone can be there for me. whenever i cry, a shoulder to console. whenever i'm happy, someone to share with. someone whom can gif me a hug whenevr i need encouragement.i thought, i wont be able to find this person ever. to think back, sometimes even ur closest mate wont be able to be that one. i always think that this person must be a story, appearing in a narrative story telling. even a santa only come once a year, he wont be there always for anyone. yesterday nite, after i read a 186 sms-es, i realised that this person has always been there for me. seriously i dint even thought of that till i looked back, looked thru the sms-es den i realised how much effort he put into our relationship, how much time he spent to be there for me. i burst into tears yesterday nite, i feel touched,completely. though i feel this way, i'm very speechless and dare not face him cox i feel guilty. for the past 1 over years, i haf nv done antyhing to help him. i dunt think i haf ever be there for him neither i make him happy when he's down.i wonder if he mind, i wonder if anyone shd juz snatch him away from me.. thats why i dare not wish for anything cox i'm afraid fate might juz take him away to exchange for my granted wish. how silly u might think.
Labels: raymond
new year is coming and i'm still down with cough and worst.. throat infection. i had a lil' fever but it doesn't bother me at all. i'm feeling abit happy, abit messy. saddness is now out of my list. i think i muz be very clear of wat i wan now. ytd i mentioned i wanna change a bf, even to our dear mr.Lim but it realli gif me a shock whereby it doesn't bother him. did i lost my beauty, i wonder. i hope he can show me tat he's abit anxious or maybe worried. anyway, i lost to him.
i wanna study, i wanna pass my tp, i wanna do well in my job. <-- my 3 biggest wishes. but i'm realli glad, love life realli doesn't bothers me much. the only issue whereby i always angry with mr Lim, is when he's late for our date ALWAYS. actually, i juz wish that he wont again..seriously. i know its so much of a grumble but i juz cant help complaining big time abt him. i'm sorry.
oh ya, i saw debbie the day before ytd. a short hair which makes her look attractive. i'm so glad to see her but due to the blue morning, i dint show how excited i am. chatted with her while taking the train from sengkang to little india. its all abt our 2 dear mates getting ROM this year and cant get over it due to we r both older den the other 2. are we seriously getting old? have we reach the age to get married? to be frank, marriage is out of my mind now, surprise. maybe i'm happy with wat i am now.
Labels: raymond
the day dint actually kick off well as me n the lamer ah mond had a conflict. The funny part is, the more angry we made each other, the more we wanna hold each other hand. What does that mean? i'm not really sure. u know, couples will stay a distance when having or after quarrels..we are juz so different. In fact, we still holding each other hands when debating...
But the mood totally changed after Ah mond's lil' gf appeared. it juz brighten up his day and everything turn out to be better lor. Where he actually put me in his heart......!?!?! i wonder. okay, to end the crowd's doubt, the little gf is none other den Pearlyn , Hur who? My little cousin. We met my xiaoba and family for lunch den Pearlyn started to move from seats to seats and finally stood beside ah mond with a TLC hug. Wah Piangz~ wats TCL u were thinking... slowly guess..
Not long later, acc them to East coast as they are currently under Roller Blading training. yup, the papa,mama,pearlyn & Eugene. . .
Me & ah mond went off soon after and his mood totally changed lor. HAppy like bird and kept saying abt Pearlyn's sweetness and cuteness..High lor. nevermind.
Lame & Lamer i could only say. Watelse.
Oh, Happy Day. Cox my aunty bought me a Burberry top.
And i tried to make myself even happier by viewing this.
Labels: raymond
its been nearli a month since i last blogged.. hmm, 3weeks i shd said.
8th dec today, ray's birthday.i knocked off @ 7pm juz now and accompanied jeannie to Sim Lim Square to meet up a reseller. Apparently this reseller is hiding from us and again, we din managed to "catch" him @ SL. Whatever it is, this doesn't pull our mood down as we've got Berlinda and mates to join us for dinner @ Fish & Co. , bugis.
Of cox, i had nv get this out of my head, my task today - raymond's lil' cake. i bought him a Hot red heart shape cake and cheese sticks tat he used to love. i tot i could haf gone to his hse to celebrate and a surprise but lil tat i expect that he came to bugis to fetch me after my dinner.
its alright, my plan still goes on but in another way or so, i managed to light up a tiny candle on da cake and wish him a happy birthday. *so sweet..lolx.
Reached home and i gave him his present. i hope he realli realli love the gift tat actually goes thru alot in getting. well, shall not brood over it.
its getting late. i'm slping.nite.
Labels: raymond
painful eyes.
have u really sit down and think wat u wan and wat u wanna be in the future. not realli a dream which is far away but maybe in few years' time, u wanna achieve certain lil dreams or reach certain levels in certain areas ?? ask youself now if u haven't. sometimes it may be due to some issues that u cant reach ur goals, for examples like due to laziness, troublesome and most of them, cash flow problems. who don't meet S-eleven problems. 99% did. its really cant help it that we muzt work like hell everyday juz to achieve a lil goal in our life like : getting a degree, get a class 2B / 3 licence, go for a tour to places u dreamt of, get a Bvlgari wallet / ring or even buy a gift for ur love ones. why izzt all about whereby we need to be so pathetic to do some of those i've mentioned.
Life's not simple. tats the main reason why are we living here, now, at this moment. it is always challenging to live on
everyday. it's ridiculous. buzzing like bees everyday juz to maintain the stability of life, comfy in living. wth. its always unfair in life. stop grumbling. it is only to blame tat u din pray well and offered joss-sticks to god in ur previous life. watelse can we put the blame to.
seriously i need a big long break to rest my mind.raymond pls handle my life from now on till my brain cells start to work again. every step i'm taking now will be planned by him, i will juz listen and "Just do it". no further question ask.
wanna date me? plans for me? pls look for him.
Labels: raymond
